Waking up with no joy is so bleak, especially when the weather outside matches your mood. My depression has never been something I shied away from but this past winter it’s been more center stage than ever before.
The constant darkness and rain used to make me happy, so much to a point that Seattle sounded like a nice place to live. But maybe that’s just from me watching too much Twilight.
The fall and winter have always been my seasons but this year, it brought up a darkness in me that matched mother nature. The constant rain in New York has been bringing me down lately and my therapist has to continually tell me, yes Briana, that’s seasonal depression. Everyone gets a little moody when it rains.
I have a hard time of not making these feelings consume me and that’s my problem.
I woke up this morning a little down, and then let my morning rot itself away because a few things happened to make my mood a little worse. Now I feel like my whole day is shit because I wasn’t able to wake up positive.
I’m stressed, tired, and a bit run down. My skin is acting out and making me self conscious, I’m going to Europe for the first time in a few weeks and thinking about the flight is making me anxious.
I’d be able to handle the other things if my mood wasn’t already written in the stars the moment I opened my eyes but now I feel like another day is wasted because of the chemical imbalance in my brain.
I’ve made progress with my mental health, worlds of progress actually, but sometimes it’s really hard to just let myself feel the feelings instead of allowing them to control my entire life.
How do you move on from the morning blues?